Remember when ESPN filled up most of its broadcast day with Australian Rules Football?
Back when cable TV was almost a luxury, and unless you lived far away from a metro area you had to wait for your street to be torn up to get 57 channels from a big ugly box, ESPN delivered sports without a whole lot of BS.
Maybe it’s because Disney owns the place now, but somewhere along the way, ESPN became – to turn a phrase from the NBA playoffs – “Hollywood as Hell.”
It’s not enough to show a game. Now the game needs a storyline. Is Vince McMahon consulting or something? I suppose we’ll know for sure if next season some guy ends up in tights named “Mr. Ass.”
The hours between the games are filled with shows where self-professed experts gaze into their navels and speculate over things that haven’t happened yet. Last week over lunch, the discussion was over what would LeBron James’ legacy in the NBA be if Dwayne Wade were named MVP. Seriously?
I suppose this is what is to be expected out of the network that gave us “The Decision.” America loves itself a good trainwreck, and we haven’t had a good narcissist to point and stare at since Michael Jackson left this earth. The boys in Bristol are more than happy to give King James an audience. How else could someone be declared the greatest player ever in the game, without ever showing the mental tenacity (or for that matter, the desire) to carry his team to a championship?
Strip away the fog and lights and Miami has three skilled players. But until they can actually play as a team, it’s a little premature to run a “Heat Meter” and compare them to a Jordan-led Bulls team. You actually have to play the games, a fact that’s frequently glossed over while watching SportsCenter.
But just as I’m finding myself to be happier with how I view the state of our nation by not watching cable news, I’m beginning to think that I’ll be happier about the teams that I care about if I ignore all umpteen ESPN networks unless a game is actually on. Then, if I turn the center channel down on the surround sound I won’t have to listen to the announcers.
It might work.
ESPN is just glorified small station bad sports talk radio. If I really wanted to listen to random uninformed shot-from-the-hip opinions on sports, I’d go down to local watering hole and listen to the half drunks as they watch the game on TV. At least the drinks might be OK and some random half-attractive woman might wander in with half a boob hanging out.
Seriously, as a stats geek and occasionally-intense sports fan, I’m amazed at the idiotic and demonstrably incorrect blather that goes up on the TV. At least on radio they have an excuse – they need to keep talking to get peeps to call in and keep ratings up and all. What’s ESPN’s excuse? They’ve GOT the actual games. Do they really need to pay assorted retired formerly -somewhat-successful athletes and various currently-employed columnists to fill up dead air time?
Ah well, could be worse, I suppose. The Heat could have won the Championship.